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Foreign-Born Children Who Have Moved To America Say Reality Doesn't Match Their Previous Perceptions
Minneapolis, USA (Indianpolis Star) – Before fleeing their countries, many refugees had misconceptions about what would become their new home. Nimco Ahmed, 20, originally from Somalia, did not expect the diversity she encountered in the United States.
"I thought everyone in America was going to be white," she said. But then "I realized that everybody in America came from different places."
Y-Press interviewed 95 young people to learn about their experiences as refugees and the challenges they have faced adapting to life in their new homes.
"People were always talking about how nice it is here, and it's all equal rights and stuff, and so that's why I wasn't so worried moving here," said Nina Gligorevic, 12, a refugee from Bosnia who lives in Lincoln, Neb.
"The impression we have about the United States when we are back in Africa is that it's a place where everything is bright and beautiful. You pick the money from a tree," said Edmond Borboh, 22, who settled in the Twin Cities from Sierra Leone.
Ahmed, who lived in Germany before coming to Minneapolis, said that in Africa, people assume that life in the United States is better. "I have an aunt back home. She has a house -- it's beautiful, and she still thinks just because we live in America, we have a way better life," she said.
But life in the United States and Canada can be different from expectations.
Borboh didn't find a money tree when he arrived in the Twin Cities, but he did find a few low-paying jobs, and that wasn't his only adjustment.
"Just imagine you're leaving your homeland, moving to another man's place to live, and you've never been here before. How hard is it gonna be for you to try to make new friends and get along with all the people?" Borboh asked.
Cultural differences are especially difficult for refugees from developing areas. For example, Borboh had difficulty accepting American gender roles.
"When I was back in Africa, (I thought that) women should be at home, cooking and taking care of the kids," he said. "But when I came to the U.S., we realized that everybody got to go to work and go to school."
Mohamed Dhinbil, 25, from Somalia, encountered another cultural difference in Minneapolis: Because Americans have a greater sense of autonomy, they are less inclined to help one another.
"Back home we work more as a group or as a unit," he said. "It's not so much individual. If I was hungry, my neighbor would give me food. If I needed clothes, my friend would give me clothes. But here it is different."
Some refugees balk at the fast pace of American life.
"Back in our country, five minutes doesn't mean very much. But here it's strict," Dhinbil said.
Another adjustment many refugees, especially those from Africa, must make is to weather. "I didn't know that it was going to be very cold," said Mohamed Shogar, 14, who fled to Lincoln from the Sudan, where temperatures average around 85 degrees year-round. "I (had)never seen snow before."
Refugees agree that mastering English is essential and difficult. It's critical for finding jobs and succeeding at school, and it breaks the isolation.
During his first year here, 21-year-old Fitim Hajritaj from Kosovo, Yugoslavia, felt like an outsider in Vancouver, British Columbia. "I couldn't communicate with people well, so it was a little bit boring. . . . My parents still don't know English very well, so they cannot even find jobs because of the language barrier."
Children generally have an easier time learning English than adults. It helps that they are immersed in the language for hours every day at school.
School can help with the transition. Schools in Lincoln, Vancouver and the Twin Cities offer instruction in English as a Second Language.
Refugees in Minneapolis find a receptive education system. Abraham Lincoln High School, an alternative school run by a community agency, serves refugees and immigrants. The school also provides a sense of belonging.
"In this school, they treat each other as if we are all from the same country," said Borboh, who attends Lincoln. "We all working like brothers and sisters. We've been accepted."
Most American students welcome the refugees.
"People always like to hear stories. They're fascinated that you're from a different country," said Seva Rodnyansky, 15, a Russian refugee who resides in Minnesota.
Ahmed was especially surprised by the curiosity of black classmates.
"They want to know how life is in Africa. They definitely want to go back and see it," she said.
Striking a balance between American students and maintaining friendships within a cultural community is often difficult. Pahoua Xiong, a 12-year-old Hmong girl in Minnesota whose parents are from Laos, feels that she has been more accepted by white American students.
"Some Asian kids, they're like, 'Oh Pahoua, you're so whitewash,' " she said. "They'll make fun of me because I don't have any Hmong friends."
The clash between cultures is evident in refugee homes. In general, the children speak English better than their parents do, and they have adopted more Western ways as a result.
Mai Nhia Thao, 15, also Hmong, says her parents are worried about her immersion in American culture. "My mom wants to speak more Hmong," she said. "But there's some words you cannot really translate to Hmong, like if you're talking about technology."
Mai also worries about her future. She wants to attend college, but she's already seen many of her friends pressured into arranged marriages.
With parents advocating traditional values and peers promoting an American lifestyle, some young refugees feel like they're living a double life.
"We kind of have two cultures. It's very hard for us to distinguish between the two," said Deka Farah, 19, who lives in Minneapolis. But because most refugees prize their cultural heritage, they work to maintain a cultural balance.
Farah has developed a way of keeping her native language alive. "I kind of slur English and Somali together, kind of made up my own language," she said.
Tavan Abdullah, 18, who moved to Lincoln from Kurdistan, believes she, too, has achieved a satisfying balance. "I go to theaters. I hang out with my friends," she said. "But I also wear traditional clothes and take care of the guests the way I should. I have to change very much outside . . . but inside, who I am, what my religion is, my family, my background, not a bit."
Most of these young refugees yearn to return to their homeland, even if they have never seen it.
"I don't exactly remember anything because when I left my country I was 2 months old. . . . All I do is just dream about it," Abdullah said.
Many refugees see their resettlement as temporary.
"When we were leaving the house, my mom was like, "Oh, don't touch anything because we'll be back.' . . . It's been 11 years right now. We want to go back, definitely, any time," Ahmed said.
"America is a big economy, good education, good people, good land, great rights (for) citizens," Abdullah said. "But not home."
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