Sarah Palin, the Alaskan kitten with big claws, is launching the world into an updated Women's Lib frenzy again. Certainly the downtrodden, oppressed females of the world need a champion; but this little lady has never been where they are. At the moment it only matters to those ladies that the former Mayor of Wasilla and present Governor of Alaska is where they think they want to be. Just imagine having a husband, five kids, unending attention and POWER all in one lifetime! Wow! Let's vote for her and see how she managed that miracle! Talk about having it all!

All of this renewed hoopla about feminism reminds me of the shock waves that rocked American women when Betty Friedan's book, The Feminine Mystique, was published in 1963. One of her observations was that Madison Avenue advertising men had cleverly sent Rosie the Riveter back home to nurture the warriors returning from WWII. Housewives began to question their motives as stay-at-home Moms.” Am I doing this because I like it, or because I've been railroaded into it?”

Frankly, my dear, only YOU can figure that out. Then you can either accept it or work to change it.

One thing seems very clear to me; ALL relationships are some form of codependency. That goes for partnerships, marriages, businesses, government, politics, etc. “You do for me what I can't do and I'll do for you what you can't or don't want to do. I'll cover for you if you'll cover for me.. I'll make you look good if you'll make me look good.” The system works until one of the participants gets tired or rebels or envisions a better codependent somewhere else. Unfortunately, some of us become so comfortable or so victimized in our roles that our only relief is in wishful thinking. This explains the hero worship of Sarah Palin. Only a few women will be motivated to evaluate their own situations. Most will show up in her audiences, cheering and applauding the man-woman they wished they could be.. Governor Palin is effectively presenting herself as master-mistress of all things desirable.

Generally speaking, men are considered to be “strong”, “decisive”, “logical”. Generally speaking, women are labeled as “gentle”, “creative”, “emotional”. The truth is that both sexes exhibit all of those qualities in varying degrees at different times. A woman will administrate her little universe in logical order.. She will defend it against all threats. A man will create his goals and strategy based on his own personal heartfelt dream.. When a man or a woman emphasizes one aspect of his nature to the detriment of the other he or she is liable to become a “victim” or a “despot”. When a man or a woman claims excellence in whichever category the present audience represents, he or she is simply a master politician.

I'm reminded of a series of letters about “women's lib” that my daughter and I exchanged in 1975. At that time I was divorced from her father and living in Spain . She was divorced from her childhood sweetheart and living in California . As I re-read some of those letters this week I revisited many of the feelings and questions that women are still asking themselves and each other today:

“ Oct. 6,1975. …I talked to her about you and me and art and love and expressing one's self. Maureen felt better and so did I. As I told her…it's almost enough to know that there is a person with whom you can talk. Sometimes you don't even need to talk…just know that you could. I told her that I've been very lonely since she went to Ireland because there was no one here for me either. That sounds as though I don't count on Hilario for anything, which is not true. Hilario is my companion of work, of home, of bed…but not of my longing and dreams... So far I have found that all of those things never come wrapped up in one person. Maybe it's too big of a burden to put on one beloved. I try to be more reasonable now…not expect so much. .Paul told me for almost a quarter of a century that he didn't understand what I was talking about when I discussed a book that I had read, or poetry, or a beautiful sunset and I kept thinking, one day he will understand. I thought that because I tried to understand his math, his engineering, and his reports…that he would reciprocate the interest in my things. But no, Hilario won't either. Claims he can't. “

The letters were therapeutic for us. A mother and a daughter daring to discuss the forbidden. A mother and a daughter showing their vulnerability. A mother and a daughter daring to share sincerely..

When we approached several major publishers we got the standard rejections issued to unknown writers.. When we approached the new women's publications it was hinted that we were not sufficiently “anti-male” for their readership. So with our new self-awareness we both moved on. We have not only survived, but thrived, for another thirty three years.

We spoke by phone yesterday and agreed that she and I can't solve the world's problems. In my opinion, Governor Palin hasn't demonstrated that she can either. First we have to confront what is motivating us and next we need to show that we understand the problems and that we care enough to work on them.

Ruth Shanor

Email: ruthshanor@yahoo.com

Editor's Note:

Ruth Shanor is an American grandmother in her 80s, an author of two books and numerous essays and a devoted surfer of the Internet. From her acre in Cowpens , South Carolina , Ruth surveys the world through the omnipresent Google. Her original intention of subscribing to Google Alert was to monitor the news of the countries where her children and friends lived. But little did she know that the world would be her oyster and that she would “stretch her one acre of land across the world” as she put it, establishing heartwarming friendships with people across the world and across cultures. It is through surfing the Web that Ruth found Awdalnews in 2004 after reading Bashir Goth's article “Singing Into a Vacuum: The Torment of a Somali Playwright.

It is therefore within this spirit of “so many good things we share” as Ruth described the common bonds between people that we decided to publish Ruth's reflections and show the readers of Awdalnews and the world at large that despite the physical, psychological, cultural and religious walls and barriers that human beings like to erect to divide them into Us and Them, it is alas the yearning of the human spirit for freedom and breaking of barriers that unites us.

In her reflections which we shall serialize in Awdalnews, Ruth will show us how we all face the same fears and challenges in life and share the same dreams, desires and passions for a better tomorrow. She will also tackle current cultural and political issues. The above piece is Ruth's response to Awdalnews editor's question on her opinion on the 2008 American presidential elections.

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